Saturday, September 29, 2007

yeah sure.

So in a way I don't have homework this weekend, but yet I actually do. Ugh. I'm just ignoring it. I need to start reading "Midsummer's Night Dream" and I'd like to get a jump on my next chapter in math.

But moving on quickly away from that unpleasant topic... This morning I "treated" myself. I lazed around in bed, watching some TV dvd's. Then I painted my fingernails and toenails. And Ryan and I just got back from shopping until we were dropping.

Not really. Actually, we spent a lot of time in B&N while I tried to pick a trig book that would be helpful.

I've been doing a lot of thinking... I need to really write this stuff down while I'm in the moment and all. But anyways... I'm starting to realize and accept the fact that life is going to be hard and difficult no matter what. For some reason, I just have this feeling in the back of my mind "Once I turn ____ things will be easier. Once I get some high paying office job, things will be easier. Once I lose weight I'll magically gain self esteem." Etc.

I want to just accept things as they are and not try to force things. Life is what it is, and I'd like to just go with the flow more.

I have a lot of work to do in some positive thinking departments too... thought changes and all... I'll get there somehow.

AND. I'd like to focus on the good things in life. As I contemplated things while driving, I encountered two cars who were polite. Then I encountered the requisite assholes. Well, I'd like to stop focusing on the assholes and just focus on the good, polite people that are out there. The a-holes are never going to go away. Why do I have this odd expectation of them doing so?

Again. Just let them be. Go with the flow of it all. Don't focus on them.

I'm trying. I'm trying.

BTW, you know those cute little baby pumpkins? (I forget their names, gourds? I dunno.)
I so wanted to get a bunch for all our animals. I called them "ferret pumpkins" because they are perfectly ferret sized! Awww. Actually they are a good, cute size for all our animals.
We have 3 ferrets, 3 cockatiels and 2 gerbils. There are 3 cats in this house too, but they technically belong to my parents now.

I am sleepy.

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